How Therapy Works
If your image of therapy is shaped by pop culture, you might picture a quiet room, a patient lying dramatically on a couch, and a therapist nodding silently with a notepad. Or maybe someone has a massive emotional breakthrough in just one session and walks out completely transformed.
Real therapy? It’s usually a little less glamorous, and a lot more human. I’m a big fan of “showing behind the curtain” in terms of therapy so let’s break down what therapy actually looks like, how it works, and what it doesn’t do (no notepads or magical “aha!” moments required).
Therapy Is a Relationship
More than anything, therapy is a relationship. Not in the way your other relationships function, because this one centers on a safe space for you. It’s built on trust, safety, and real human connection.
You get to show up just as you are. Not your polished self. Not your “holding it all together” self. Your honest self… confused, hurting, curious, overwhelmed, hopeful.
And my job as your psychologist is to meet you there, with compassion, presence, and curiosity. To offer reflections, ask meaningful questions, and create a space where you can slow down and hear yourself.
Therapy Is a Process, Not a Quick Fix
We live in a culture that craves instant solutions and gratification. So it makes sense that people come to therapy hoping for a clear answer, a fast breakthrough, or a step-by-step plan to "get better."
But therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s a process of discovery and healing. Sometimes we go deep. Sometimes we focus on tools and strategies. Often, it’s a mix of both.
Here’s the truth: real change takes time. And therapy honors that timeline.
It’s a Place for Both Insight and Action
Some sessions, therapy is about exploring the roots of a belief or pattern. Other weeks, it’s about figuring out how to set a boundary, get through a tough conversation, or practice tolerating distress in the moment.
Therapy is a space where you can:
Learn new skills to cope or manage a situation
Make sense of why you feel the way you do
Explore how your past might be showing up in your present
Experiment with new ways of thinking, coping, and relating
Celebrate your wins and grieve your losses. Without judgment
It’s about creating more self-awareness and more freedom for you (instead of your emotions or impulses) to choose how you move through life.
Here’s What Therapy Is Not
Let’s be real about this part, too. Therapy isn’t:
❌ A place where someone tells you what to do
❌ A magical fix for all your problems
❌ Always comfortable or easy
❌ Just for people who are “really struggling”
What it is is a place where you can be messy, vulnerable, real, and supported.
It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming more fully yourself.
So… How Do You Know If It’s Working?
Therapy “working” might not look dramatic. You might not cry every session. You might not leave each week feeling amazing. Sometimes the work is subtle, slow, and quiet.
But over time, you might notice:
You react differently in situations that use to overwhelm you
You speak to yourself more gently
You feel less alone in your experiences
You feel more like you
And that’s powerful.
Therapy Isn’t About Doing It All Alone
You’ve probably learned how to survive on your own. But healing? Growth? Change?
That usually is a team sport.
Therapy is a place where you don’t have to hold it all together. Where you can explore what it means to live more fully, love more deeply, and treat yourself with more care.